Archives for the month of: October, 2012

When considering the question of whether or not the swinging lifestyle is right for you, the first clue to the answer probably is that if you are asking the question at all it is likely a good sign it isn’t for you. Swinging is neither good nor bad, nor is it for everyone. The best way to be sure if it is right for you however is to walk yourself through a simple checklist of questions and then quantitatively weigh them This won’t provide you with the definitive final answer you may seek, that ultimately is something only you and your partner know for sure. It will however help reassure you that whatever you choose it is the proper choice for you.

For starters a little history is due for those not intimately aware of the swinging lifestyle. Swingers are not deviants. They are a a regular run of the mill couple, not necessarily married or even of the opposite sex, that chooses to participate in this lifestyle as a pair. They may physically engage in sexual activities alone or as a pair. The general feeling many people in the swinging lifestyle has is that sex and love are unrelated. Swinging may be a couple picking up another individual or couple and that being the number of participants, or it may be a party in which several to a few dozen people may be on the premises.

Many hold that they love one person, however they feel having sex with many different people does not diminish that love and to some degree actually serves to strengthen that love and relationship. It is easy to understand many people not in the lifestyle find that hard to believe. For those that hold that above mentioned opinion however it seems to work out just fine.

Moving along begin taking a look at your existing relationship. Is it a healthy relationship? It is important to be completely honest with yourself when determining this. Do you have trust issues? A lack of trust is a sure sign that swinging is definitely not right for you. Do wither of you have a problem with jealously? Jealously and the swing lifestyle are polar opposites. Swinging is in large part all about trusting each other and being able to be fully aware of or even most often see your partner sexually active with another person. If either of you cannot handle that without feeling overly possessive swinging will do little more than exacerbate the issues and likely ruin what relationship you do have.

It may seem basic, but do you have any sexually transmitted diseases? You are about to enter a world in which physical intimacy is present with perhaps as many as thirty or more different partners over the course of the year depending on how often you do swing. That is a very conservative estimate. With that many partners the risk of spreading infection is like a wildfire during the dry season. If you have an STD then this is not the lifestyle for you because it is putting others in harms way. It is paramount that you be responsible an honest with this information about yourself.

Are you open to experimentation and a very diverse group of people? if you have hangups about certain types of people whether it be physical, racial, sexual orientation, or any host of things this is not the lifestyle choice for you. Likewise if you are only looking for straight “vanilla” sex and are put off by many different fetishes and fantasies being played out before your eyes you have no business swinging for the most part. Swinging is about exploring all those things with all different types of people. It’s participants are not given to prejudices of that nature.

Finally ask yourself will it improve your life or relationship? Every decision and action in our lives caries a value. That value may be positive or negative. If swinging is not something you see as having a positive impact, not a “middle of the road no change” scenario, but a real positive impact, then swinging probably isn’t the right choice for you. There is no denying that couples have entered the lifestyle believing their relationship was strong and open enough to do so only to found out it wasn’t. Not always, but sometimes relationships have ended over it. If you have any doubt in your mind about this choice just move on and forget about it. It simply put is not worth the risk.

If however you do believe you have a strong trusting relationship devoid of jealousy and prejudice and are STD free, then maybe it is right for you. There are countless people that swear by swinging and it is proved it does work well for some. It is possible you could be one of those people. Ultimately however you knew the true answer to the question before you ever thought to ask. That is what should be your true determining factor.

Trust is built in a gay relationship the same way it is in any other type of relationship: It is earned. Trust takes time to be built in any form of relationship whether it be between too co-workers, friends, family members, or intimate partners. The fact that a gay relationship is composed of two people of the same sex in no way means that those two people do not deal with the same issues as any heterosexual relationship, nor that they do not need the same reassurances and time to reach a point in which they can feel safe confiding in one another and feeling comfortable depending on each other.

The manner trust is built is a long process as in this day and age few adults freely give this wondrous gift away. As we age we look back on life and see too many instances in which we placed our trust in the hands of another only to see it shattered. As such the process of allowing someone to earn our trust takes longer and becomes more complex with each instance of this happening.When you add in the element of intimacy it is an even bigger mess many times.

We earn trust one action at a time. We begin by honest with one another, we share our good and our bad. We reciprocate this action and then build upon it one small block at a time. We don’t betray each others confidence, instead we safeguard it as if it were the most precious of our possessions, because in all reality it is. Sure you may not be able to hold in your hands or see it, but it does exist and it is as valuable as anything in the world.

We maintain trust by realizing that earning trust is not enough in and of itself, it has to be maintained and nurtured. This is done by continuing to share with each other and guarding those secrets meant to only be between the two partners. It is maintained by showing good faith and trusting your partner to make decisions that impact you both rather than always feeling the need to be in control. It grows exponentially when you show trust in your partner by trusting those whom they trust as well whether it be their family or oldest friend.

You allow your partner to go about their life as they did before you met, you don’t try to contort them to address your own insecurities. You let them see their friends and go about their social life as they always have without checking up behind them and grilling them with questions just because they failed to answer a phone call or came home fifteen minutes late. You put faith in them that they are with you because they choose to be with you. In the final analysis, you build trust by doing the most difficult thing of all, you give your trust away and believe that it will be returned.

There are few things more satisfying than taking an idea and making it a tangible reality. Some people are driven to make their own jewelry because they just cannot find what they want, or because of a need for a creative outlet. Sometimes you simply do not want to pay the high prices jewelry all too often demands. Whatever your motivation for wanting to design and create your own unique jewelry it is more satisfying, easier, and economical than you might think. The best thing is it is fun.

Ideas for your creations can enter your mind from literally anywhere. Sometimes it comes from an existing piece of jewelry I like some aspects of, but not all, and wish to make simple modifications to the design in order create something which is distinctly me. More often than not though my mind tends to run towards ideas that are a bit more eccentric and not too terribly mainstream and I have no choice but make my own designs. I’ve found inspiration from things as common as an ATM machine to oddly shaped pieces of driftwood laying on the beach, or even the instrument panel of a car. If you keep your eyes and mind open you will soon find you have more ideas than you have time.

The sad thing about ideas is that sometimes you have a great one but it is not in an area which is a strength of yours. Not all ideas, even great ones, are always realistic projects. You have to know your abilities and your limits. This does not mean you should not try them, but do not be too harsh on yourself if they fail to turn out as you hoped. Even in failure we learn. In fact some of the things I consider failures are thing other people love and are more than happy to accept when I give them away. Another thing to remember is that no matter how good an idea is, if you find something that inspires you to amend it go with that gut feeling. This is your vision, your creation, and you are the boss! You can do anything you want with your idea. While it may not always be popular with friends and co-workers, if you like it that is all that matters.

If you are like me, sometimes you have a great idea that you cannot remember later. Before I reluctantly moved into the technical age which I hate to admit was only last year, I made it point to write down ideas as soon as I could. My problem was I am disorganized and ended up writing them on receipts, scraps of paper I could find in my purse, or sometimes even on my hand if I couldn’t find anything else. Needless to say I lost more of these reminders than

I can count. Eventually I smartened up and started carrying a small yellow sticky pad to jot ideas on before finally realizing I could just as easily record ideas on my cellphone or MP3 player. You never know when inspiration will strike so it is good to always be prepared to get those ideas recorded somewhere and safe for future reference.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to draw, making sketches of your ideas is a great help. A super tip to aid the process I learned in our local craft store was to place a transparency over your pencil sketch and use grease pencils or crayons to give you an idea of color schemes. This is extraordinarily helpful, especially if you will be painting the piece as is often the case with brooches. I am in love with this process because in a short period of time I can easily view a dozen or so color combinations, and even lay the actual stones or whatever embellishments I will use on top of this to get an idea how everything will work before I start piecing it together. Sometimes you can’t find the exact colored marker you want to match your ideas, but if they are close and use your creative vision this is usually more than sufficient. If you do not have or desire to use a transparency, or if you want to keep your ideas of color schemes for future reference, you can make paper copies of your sketch and color them directly. This is a great idea if you plan to make multiples of the same piece with slight variations. This can help save you time and money, especially if you are working with pricey materials or something that is one of a kind.

If you do not possess a knack for drawing the best way to experiment with colors and patterns is to lay everything out in front of you as you want it to appear in the finished product. If you are going to paint something the best thing to do is have some scrap of the same type material you will be using to test how the colors will look when applied and more importantly dried. A good tip when using paints (But certainly not necessary) is to clear coat the painted areas after they have dried to help prevent chipping or peeling and retain the color.

The good news is coming up with the idea and design is the hard part, and you are ready to move on to actually making your vision a finished product. The first thing is of course making sure you have all your necessary supplies and tools. Nothing is worse than sitting down to begin and realizing you are missing something and the stores are closed, or you just cannot get there and your project has to be temporarily shelved. After that it is as simple as rolling up your sleeves and diving right in. The most important ingredient in all of this is to have fun. Like my mom used to say, “Everything is better when it’s made with love.”

Gambling is one of the sneakiest thieves of time, money, and in some cases life. For the most part people handle it quite well, a lottery ticket here, a few dollars in the slots there, certainly nothing constituting a problem. There are others however that either don’t know when to stop or can’t stop, for these people gambling is a tremendous problem.

My introduction to gambling began when I was quite young, my grandfather always bought me a scratch off ticket or two when I visited. I got the impression this was fun and safe, after all why would grandpa ever introduce me to something harmful? By the time I was ten I was already dreaming of playing blackjack in Vegas. When high school rolled around I was organizing betting pools for major sports events. When I turned twenty three however is when things got out of hand.

I was stationed in a state which had gaming, the daily number, scratch tickets, and just for fun a casino forty five minutes down the highway in a neighboring state. The day I arrived I placed five bets on the daily number not fully aware of the type of bets I was placing so I tried one of each with the same set of numbers. I won over seven thousand dollars. While at the time it was great, and why wouldn’t it be, it opened a dangerous door. I now had plenty of money to visit the casino and try my hand at my long held dream of black jack. What I found was the game bored me, but roulette and craps were fast moving and full of people cheering and groaning. That got my interest.

Again I walked out of a new gambling experience a winner, how much I no longer recall, but at the time it was enough to put me on top of the world. I found a high, and it was a high making me money. “I don’t know how they stay in business” I said to myself cashing out. Soon I found out as weekend visits stretched out longer. Weekday visits got added to the mix, and believe me, I won sometimes, but never enough to cover a previous sessions losses. I knew this was getting to be a bad habit, but it felt so good. I told myself I was in control, I could stop, I just chose not to.

What I didn’t realize then was that win or lose, I got a rush. Anticipation builds and for even a scant three seconds at times every bit of my being was focused solely on the dice, flip of a card, or spin of the wheel. Time not only stood still, in the casino there was no time. People catered to my every need and whim. When I wasn’t in the casino I sought any avenue I could to get that rush and found keno was available in many convenience stores which soon became my lunch stop. What alarmed me was I wanted to win, but for a brief moment I didn’t care if it lost. It just didn’t matter so long as it got the adrenaline flowing. I really believed I was one good day away from not just being even, but ahead.

Finally I found myself after a two day session sitting in the parking lot of my bank waiting for them to open. I had no cash on me, my casino credit was maxed, my ATM and credit cards had already allowed their maximum daily activity. It was just past eight A.M. and there I was sitting with over four years of savings bonds in my hand waiting to be cashed in to fund another binge. It hit me. I had a problem. Still when the bank opened I was immediately through the door and ready to start another run. For some reason the bank would not cash them, to this day I have no idea why, but it may have saved my life.

I made it through the day without placing a bet, and then another. I finally looked at my financial statements which I all too often left unopened for fear of seeing how much I had really lost. By the time I paid my debts I realized the first nine months pay that year went to someone else, I had not only made no advance in my financial health, I lost ground, a lot of ground. I asked myself how it happened but found no real answers.

While that was over fourteen years ago and I have never stepped in a casino again, not even to just use the bathroom, the itch is always there. The rush is always in my mind. Just writing this plants the seed, the memory, and the dream of that one perfect run. I know even a loss would be as sweet as a win in the short term and that scares me. Even those innocent little dollar instant games I see everyday, the very ones that introduced me to gambling at age six, can set me off. The mindset of a gambler is all too often the mindset of a loser, not as a person, but in that no bet is too small, no win is big enough, and no loss is defeating no matter how devastating. It’s just a part of the game until the next time.

Bisexuality is in fact a sexual orientation in and of itself. That does not mean that bisexuality does not fall under the “rainbow” but rather that is is quite distinct just as the other portions of the LGBTQI are. If bisexuality was the same thing as homosexuality it would not be called bisexual, it would just be homosexual with no distinction.

A bisexual person is someone fortunate enough to find that they are attracted to both men and women. In effect the double they odds of finding the right person for them which is not a bad thing. A bisexual person is not confused, greedy, indecisive, or weird in any way. They simply have the inborn ability to look beyond gender and identify what is within a person that attracts them rather than just the primary sexual characteristics. They may see certain things in either a man or woman that they find pleasing to them and have the ability to act on that attraction in a perfectly normal equal way.

A homosexual or heterosexual on the other hand has a more strictly defined sense of attraction. The homosexual finds them self attracted to the same sex only with the ability to only be truly naturally aroused in that manner. Likewise the heterosexual finds they are only attracted to the opposite sex with only the ability to be truly naturally aroused in that manner. Those are very easy concepts to understand which is why it is puzzling that bisexual attraction is misunderstood.

Whether or not bisexuality is homosexuality has been debated and studied to within an inch of losing sanity, and the only thing that has ever really been determined throughout it all is that bisexuals transcend the normal boundaries. Are they truly homosexual people? No they are not, but they are also not truly heterosexual either. They are their own unique classification of people and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. As sad as it is to say, bisexuals get a bum rap from every angle in the gay and straight community alike just because they are misunderstood.

The simplest way to explain it is that bisexual people are no more aware of why they are bisexual than a heterosexual or homosexual is as to why that is their sexual orientation. They just are what they are, a unique bridge between two worlds, a foot on each side of a river so to speak. They are neither gay nor straight, and there is nothing wrong with them being classified as a sexual orientation all their own.

Released to great critical acclaim in 2005, Transamerica starring the always wonderful Felicity Huffman and Kevin Zegers did live up to it’s hype. It is going to deliver some laughs, a little drama, and a unique story about a misunderstood segment of society. This story is lovingly brought to life by writer director Duncan Tucker in his follow up to Boys to Men. It certainly is a tremendous departure from the bulk of what Hollywood has ever produced regarding transsexual people which does lend itself to this being an important and entertaining movie.

The story gets rolling when Huffman who portrays Bree a rather conservative pre-operative transsexual woman tells her therapist she has discovered she has a son. Her therapist believes it is imperative Bree meets Toby (Kevin Zegers) and finds perspective on that aspect of her life before she will provide a letter for surgical reassignment to Bree, something she has been working towards for years. Bree is reluctant but is given no choice but comply to her therapists’ wishes. What ensues is a road trip style movie of Bree and Toby learning about them self and each other.

Toby is the overly stereotyped troubled teen involved in drugs and dose of sexual confusion, with aspirations that seem to start and end with breaking into the gay pornography film industry. Toby isn’t sure he likes or understands Bree initially and it is mutual from her standpoint as well, but she is trying to understand him. Their trip at times brings them in contact with people and we see the way their perception and acceptance of each other changes through the way they interact together as well as with others. This is most evident in there encounter with Graham Greene who portrays Calvin, a man we suspect knows Bree is transsexual but none the less regards her as nothing but a true and wonderful woman. To give many more details would give away some wonderful surprises you can expect to see.

The acting is as good as it can be, the script at times does seem too slow at one or two points in my opinion which caused me to briefly lose focus but this was not an overall problem. A better job could not have been done with casting some of the supporting roles but each was not just capable, but engaging. The focus of the film was intended to remain on Bree and Toby and did so very skillfully without being limited in any way. I did feel a bit let down by this film the first time I saw it as I didn’t see it living up to it’s hype however with a second viewing I picked up on many nuances I had missed. This is likely due to my own lack of focus and not the film itself. Transamerica is still far better than the majority of the films I saw that year and it is worthy of a viewing if for nothing else than seeing Huffman’s masterful portrayal of a role she completely and convincingly made her own.

Transamerica earned Huffman the Golden Globe for Best Actress and an Academy Award nod as well. The soundtrack was surprisingly good and actually added to the feel of the movie without overwhelming it. While it does it’s best to address some of the issues of transsexuality the presentation is going to be flawed for many real life transwomen as some things just are not accurate so maintaining a suspension of disbelief will be necessary. This is after all meant to be entertainment, not a documentary. This is a film that merits inclusion on anyone’s viewing list if it is not already there.

The SCRAM bracelet, Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring System, is a tool used primarily by law enforcement authorities under judicial order to ensure that when a repeat DUI offender is released on bail that they comply with the order for not imbibing alcohol. Lindsay Lohan is an example of someone that is familiar with the SCRAM. The device looks a lot like the ankle bracelet used to enforce home arrest on released offenders which ensures a certain perimeter is not broken. The SCRAM Bracelet operates on a similar principal in that via transdermal monitoring it identifies any traces of alcohol which enter the wearer’s system.

The device is worn just above the ankle – and with most models weighing around 8-10 ounces it is not something you forget is strapped on. If the device is removed somehow it sends a signal that the transmitting connection has been broken and you’re busted. If you drink alcohol the transdermal monitor will pick up any traces of ethanol released in perspiration and you’re busted. Try as many may, there is not yet a way to beat the SCRAM bracelet – and if there is those smart enough to figure it out are not bragging about it.

The reason the bracelet is so difficult to beat is that it registers an alcohol level of just 0.02 which means even a 2 ounce slug of beer can pop a positive on most all people. The SCRAM also takes a reading every thirty minutes, so there is no true grace period to rid your body of alcohol between readings. Every reading SCRAM takes over the course of the day is stored on a chip in the bracelet. Once every 24 hours, the person wearing a SCRAM has to go to where the SCRAM modem they are assigned is housed, usually their home, and stand within 20-30 feet of the modem for a period of about 15 seconds for the data to be transferred to the SCRAM monitoring center. Failure to do so is considered a parole violation – and again – you’re busted.

People have tried beating the SCRAM by sliding a moist towelette, or swatch of fabric between the SCRAM transdermal monitor and their skin thinking it would fool the system – but they were wrong. SCRAM has a micro laser that monitors how much space is between the unit and wearer’s flesh. Anything that breaches that and changes the normal limits reading is recorded. Not just that though, it signals the SCRAM center that the unit has been tampered with with in turn will be considered a potential parole violation and require the wearer to appear to have the unit checked – along with the readings for that time frame to see if everything is in order.

SCRAM has been an invaluable tool to helping cut down on repeat offenses for DUI. It has been used in the private sector by parents to monitor teens, and has been rumored to be used by a limited number of private enterprises – not in the U.S. yet, but there has been talk of it so long as it can be done without being considered a violation of rights. The bottom line is that you may fool a cop once, you may sweet talk a judge once, but you will not beat the SCRAM.

America loves John Daly. Since Daly first shot into the consciousness of the golf world he has been an iconic figure due to his ability to hit the long ball. John Daly is the every man, the one golfer we all find some common ground with. Just consider how a youtube video of Daly doing nothing more than playing a non sanctioned round of golf without a shirt on, on a course named after him no less, became an overnight sensation and caused so much controversy, it is easy to see he is always on our minds.

Daly is as troubled as he is talented and his laundry list of problems may even be longer than one of his mammoth three hundred yard drives. We look at Daly and wonder what could have been. What if he could control his drinking? What if he could give up his partying lifestyle and spend a little time working on his game? What if for just one day the planets aligned themselves and allowed Daly to play just one more great round?

We identify to Daly because he is flawed as we all are. In general we want our athletes to be larger than life, true titans capable of taking on the world and winning. We want the Tiger Woods and Alex Rodriguez’s of the world, but we need a John Daly as well. For all intents and purposes Daly looks like an average guy you might run into at Wal-Mart. He carries some extra weight around the middle, sports a bowl cut hair style that is hardly flattering, and doesn’t have the million dollar smile we often see athletes flashing for the endorsement dollar. We’ve seen him at his worst being, photographed at parties the night before he misses his tee time, and even fighting off the detox tremors live on television during a Saturday round.

We see Daly and we see parallels to our own lives. Whether we identify to his struggles to maintain his job (As his tour card has been lost), get along with others, battle addiction, or maintain relationships, we see a little of ourselves. We love him because he is the fallen hero, the unexpected underdog. We love to root for that type of person. We are waiting for the day he bombs that long drive off the first tee and not only turns around his career but his life.We watch him fall only to rise again.

One day that turnaround may come, but at this point it seems less likely as Daly struggles to even gain invitations to Pro-Am events. Whether it happens or not, John Daly will be someone we continue to follow. We may mourn his waste of a talent many of us envy, but it will not stop us from loving him and the memories he supplied in better days.

The 1999 release of Boys Don’t Cry chronicles the true life story of the final months of Brandon Teena (Born Teena Renae Brandon). This is a compelling examination of the relationships, emotions, internal and external struggles of a twenty one year old transsexually identified man living in the Falls City region of Richardson Nebraska. What you can expect in this movie is an honest, emotionally charged story and performances that at times may be brutal, but only as necessitated to convey the surroundings of what is considered one of the best known and most horrifying hate crimes of the 1990’s in America.

The story is brought to life by the writing of Andy Bienan and Kimberly Peirce who doubled as Director. Brandon is portrayed by Hilary Swank in what may go down as the greatest role in her career which garnered her the Academy Award and Critics Choice Award. Her performance was so strong she won Best Actress for her portrayal of Brandon from 18 different associations with seven more nominations. Chloe Sevigny is perhaps at her best as well in the role Brandon’s girlfriend Lana Tisdale. Sevigny was nominated for the Academy Award as Best Supporting Actress and took home the award from several festivals and critics choice awards.

The rest of the cast was no less stellar including such staples as Peter Sarsgaard, Brendan Sexton III, Alicia Goranson, and Matt McGrath. Each seemingly digs deeper than could be imagined to truly embody those they portray in a manner so convincing reality and the big screen seemingly merge. Without doubt this is a pivotal and important movie as it takes on subject matter we all to often fail to discuss, and at the time of it’s release showed a gritty side of everyday life in America we tend to want to believe does not exist.

As this story winds it’s way through the period in which Brandon leaves his home in Lincoln to reside with his newly acquainted friend Lisa we are shown as realistic a glimpse as any movie of this nature has ever provided into Brandon’s role in society. We see him struggle with his gender identity and can almost feel his pain as he fights to protect his very life and dark secret while still trying to be just one of the boys. Great care is given to his relationship with Lana, legal struggles, and battles with passing as a male while still bound to the special needs of a female body. You will see Brandon’s arrest that led to his forced outing and eventual murder at the hands of the people he called his friends.

This is a movie which is going to make you walk away asking yourself some very important introspective questions. It cuts to the bone, it doesn’t pretend to be a feel good film. It can be for some graphic and the language is adult which merits it’s R-Rating. This is a groundbreaking film that challenged the beliefs of what could and could not be successful in all aspects of the industry and is a movie that everyone should not just be familiar with but see.

Drag queens and transvestites appear quite similar on the surface, but the underlying motivations for their cross gender appearance are quite different. It is not uncommon for these two categories of people to be confused with each other and the transsexual community as well. In this article we will examine what each is and isn’t, the most common underlying theme for their cross gender appearance, and why it is important to understand these differences.

A drag queen is a man that dresses and appears as a woman in public venues. They don’t simply dress in clothing associated to women, they go the whole nine yards applying makeup, wigs as necessary, and often employ the use of body shaping undergarments to further create the illusion. It is important the do all this because a drag queen is a person that goes through all this for on or both of the following reasons, performing and financial gain. Those motivations are kept separate as in some cases these are not always two things that go hand in hand. Some assume the female persona strictly to perform for financial gain, others because they just like performing and female impersonation is the venue they excel in.

A drag queen is not necessarily transgender or even gay. They do not find disgust with their genitals and wish to have them altered. They are quite satisfied with their sexual identity as is and simply assume the femme role for no purpose but that related to business to employ an umbrella term. This is not a lifestyle for them.

A transvestite or crossdresser is quite different. In the case of men, although this phenomena is present to a lesser degree with women known as drag kings, this is a lifestyle choice. It is defined as a sexual paraphilia (fetish) in which the person finds sexual gratification by wearing womens clothing. They do not undergo body altering procedures, introduce female hormones to the body, nor do they generally go overboard with trying to look passably female. In the majority of these people they will not appear publicly in cross gender clothing.

For a transvestite crossdressing is a part of their intimate ritual. In many cases this starts out as a playful diversion but in time it can become so centrally important the person cannot function sexually without crossdressing. A transvestite has no financial motivation for assuming this temporary persona, nor do they perform publicly. In very limited cases is the person actually gay. Even in the cases in which the person would be defined as gay they often do not see them self that way as it is the alter ego or “femme persona” participating in those activities, not their true male self.

A drag queen is a person which would never be considered in need of counseling by the psychiatric community for their crossdressing alone because it is a clearly defined motivation which does not place undue stress on them mentally. These people have no confusion regarding their identity nor do they suffer any negative impact on their sex lives as a result of their crossdressing. They can clearly draw a line between work and life away from work in this regard.

A transvestite is a person that in more advanced cases could benefit from psychological counseling because the motivation for such behavior is less clear. It can lead to a negative impact n a persons sexual health that spills over to other areas of the persons life and abilit to function in a tragic chain of cause and effect events. In some cases it can be seen the transvestite become unable to attain and/or maintain an erection without crossdressing. This can cause obvious problems in regards to a persons sex life. That can lead to difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships which can lead to depression, anxiety, and a host of other issues which require treatment.

Transvestitism in and of itself is not a bad thing nor is it a true mental disorder although it does fall in the family of fetishistic behavior. Like anything kept in proper perspective it can be a good thing and liberating release for those who participate in that behavior. It is when it goes to the extreme problems can arise.

It can be seen that there are many differences between a transvestite and drag queen. These are not merely differences on the surface, but deep underlying differences in motivation and behavior. Each dresses as the opposite gender, but that is where the similarities end.